love is better than pizza

but i waaaaannnnnt the pizza!!! extra cheese, pepperoni, roma tomatoes, onions, sausage!!!! 

but love is better... i was reminded of this quote the other day.  First i guess ill tell you where it started... we are on vaca with some friends,  an older and wiser friend-( JonO )takes a phone call from his son and i hear him saying to his only son -"son- love is better than pizza, so let me love you now"

????im like what?????

so he hangs up and explains-" one of his sisters' (he has 3 of them) ate his leftovers and he is pizzed (haha see what i did there) so he is just yelling and cursing his sisters name over the phone, and this hits his story hard.  He is the only boy and he is being taken advantage of, overlooked , not cared for"...meanwhile his dad IS loving him and caring for him by listening....but the son can't see this -he only wants his pizza-hot & ready and NOW!  

As i pondered this dialogue for weeks after i thought of how i want the pizza too and not the love. see the love takes longer to experience, it takes waiting or just being still to even receive it or know its there, sometimes im so aftaid it won't even come at all and i will be alone, it takes being willing to even want it - now on the otherhand the pizza- i just go get it myself and its easy and satisfies and is quick and tasty... love has to be given, i have to want it, need it, sometimes ask for it, it has to come from a source other than myself, and its not usually what i think i need at the humbling.

a few years ago we bought a condo...kinda in the ghetto, kinda a LOOOOOOOOng term investment.  And it has caused many sleepless nights and anxiety attacks, b/c we have to pay the bills even if our tenants don't, even if they breed chihuahua puppies on new carpet, even when they decide to move out 10 months early, even when they say they will paint the walls a neutral color and when they are long gone you find purple & gold from floor to ceiling... or i could say this investment has given me alot of opportunities to trust that the God of the Universe has everything under control.  So one day I got an unexpected bill in the mail from said condo... and i was so angry i sat down and cried, my oldest son (7 at the time) comes screeching into the kitchen and sees me sobbing - so he gives me a hug, then he screeches out again- 

i got the love, not the pizza that day - there was no extra cheese, or pepperoni, heck i may have taken sardines, but noooooooo...- but you know that i know that hug was Jesus- living through my boy in some unexplainable way that only i knew by faith it was Him- He was there with me in the pain, He knew what it was like to be taken advantage of, He knew my story and the fact that i like control, and i had none when it came to this i accepted this hug and  i started laughing and crying and thanking Him for caring for me in the middle of the pain... the pain didn't go away it ebbed away slowly and we paid the bill and keep paying the bills BUT God continues to provide funds to pay them and we continue to know Him in the moment and that is the LOVE.  

That is better than pizza.